r8chull00

Wed, 09 May 2007 19:02:24 GMT

It's summer! Whats going to happen now?
I feel kinda displaced, i dont really know whats going to happen within the next 2 - 4 weeks!

Sat, 05 May 2007 03:43:01 GMT

I really dont think I exactly FIT at evergreen :)

I have all my classes figured out for next year. They are all things I WANT to learn about and do...so Evergreen is working out in that respect.

I've also become an expert on looking for rentals :) 6-12 month lease here I come!

My lifestyle has changed a great deal since spring break. Some good things, some bad..but the bad will work itself out!

I'm ready to freakin party :)

Thu, 01 Feb 2007 19:14:41 GMT

Last night was good for me.
Me and Cody drank and smoked a million ciggarettes.
We listened to Bright Eyes, just soaking in each song.
He asked me what the worste moment in my life was.
I asked him what he meant.
He said to me, that moment that you could just feel your heart breaking.
I had forgotten. But i cried as i remembered.
These things that happen make us into who were gonna be.
My punishment will always be my guilty conscience.

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 23:47:31 GMT

Things are moving and honestly i couldnt ask for more.
At least i'm out there, i'm trying, and in a lot of ways it's working.
I have honestly been waiting for this, so its not a shock.

"Your the reoccuring kind...You never really leave my mind"

Sat, 06 Jan 2007 07:45:35 GMT

I am who i am.
I've seen so many things and gone through so many things to be where i am today.
The MOST important thing in my life is EXPRESSION.
How can i be with someone that doesnt understand or agree with MY expression.
Because that all i really am.
I've got nothing if i dont have my indeviduality.
Its the only thing that really makes me balance, sane, just me.
And yea, i may be selfish, i may be pig headed and stuborn, but thats who i am, why would i try to be anything but that?
Its best to be natural.

In the morning it will seem like im over reacting..and mabye i am.
But who cares, thats exactally who i am.
And i shouldnt change for anyone but myself..and i dont want to change just yet.

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 20:21:20 GMT

Honestly, i'm not the most virtuouse person.
I've made "mistakes" and done things i'm not proud of.
I guess thats because i'm not the strogest person there is.
But i'm trying my best to figure myself and the world out and i'm bound to have set backs.
Set backs that i induced myself.
Im trying to find my path, and it always seems like everyone else has their's all figured out.

But i dont want to waste my life feeling bad for mistakes i've made in the past. I dont want to make them again, i need to focus on getting past the past.

& also

I wouldnt regret ripping all the blonde hair out of your heads and bashing your pretty little faces into the cement. Trust me, NONE of you want me to be there when either of those two are there..it wont be pretty. Just because you dont see how back stabing they are doesnt mean i dont and im not interested in pretending. They push it a little more everytime i hear about them. Im about ready to be done son.

Yea, you can say i have anger problems or just problems all you want. But its my truth and i'm more than willing to stand up for it. I've tried talking about it. It didnt help.

Holiday

Sun, 10 Dec 2006 23:47:39 GMT

Back for the holidays.
Jimbo's birthday was fun.
He got the family guy seasons, so we've been watching them non stop.
Nothing really exciting...

Fri, 24 Nov 2006 05:19:48 GMT

Thanksgiving has been good to me
very very good

:)

Fri, 27 Oct 2006 03:18:44 GMT

Bleh, the last two days have been bazaar.
I feel myself pushing myself in a new direction, different from the one i was on, whichever one that may have been.
I go through stages of feeling fine, stages of feeling cynical, and stages of feeling broken hearted. I think thats just normal for this point in life.
Lots of things are changing. I find myself having to constantly push myself out there to people that i dont really know, and thats hard.
~
I'm finaly looking for my own spectacular instead of someone else's and that feels really fulfilling.

I piss myself off a lot.
And i find i just have to wrok through it.
Sometimes i just dont get why i feel the way i do.
I cant commit to things
But i freak out when they arent there.

Basically, it isnt all that bad. Its transition, which is always just a little uncomfortable.

To Remembering insanity.

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 20:19:59 GMT

I just wish there was enough hours in the day to do all the things i need to!

Nothing would make me happier than...2 showers a day.

:)

"Its so hard to have someone to love."

Mon, 23 Oct 2006 20:51:22 GMT

I wish you could see me now.

I'm going to be okay. One hundered percent alright by myself.
I dont need anyone at all. All I've got is myself in the end anyway.
Im okay.

So many imprtant things happened this weekend.
I'm so glad for every single one of them.
I'm okay.

Thank you Blake, for setting a standard for myself, for what kind of friend i want to be. And how friendship is something i've always looked for, and never found. How you showed me i'm going to be okay.

I love that feeling, when you love a song so much you just replay it over and over.

Someone just showed me that revenge isnt the anwser, you might loose someone at any moment. I dont need to get back at you Alaina. Loosing you, the person i loved so much, is enough for the both of us.

To Remebering It All.

Mon, 16 Oct 2006 01:35:27 GMT

All i can really say is

"You're everything I know that makes me believe
I'm not alone
I'm not alone

I am not alone
Whoa, oh, oooh, oh

And when I touch your hand
It's then I understand
The beauty that's within
It's now that we begin
You always light my way
I hope there never comes a day
No matter where I go
I always feel you so"

I really do miss that cynical bitch

Fri, 06 Oct 2006 04:21:31 GMT

I want to be happy.
I realize that i wont get to be happy 100% of the time
I dont ALWAYS have to be happy.
I just want to be happy most of the time.
And i wasnt.

Speakers on a TV stand, just a tun table to watch.

Sun, 01 Oct 2006 02:46:18 GMT

"You were a stroke of luck"

I'll admit it. I love college. I LOVE meeting people, even the ones i dont like. I LOVE starting over, fresh with no mistakes, i can be whoever it is i want to be. This was exactaly what I asked for.

Sometimes thinking about home, the home i formed within my group of friends, makes me want to weep. Not because i'm sad about where i am now, but because it feels like i'll never be able to make those same memories with those people. Things wont ever be quit the same.

I'm begining to realize that thats okay. Things can be different. I'd die if they were always the same. Oh, but, wouldnt it be nice if i could take some of my favorites with me?

I wanted to go to college to find out who i really am. I hope i find that. I just wanted to change my life.

Another one bites the dust

Fri, 29 Sep 2006 19:34:45 GMT

She Wants Revenge got to popular and now they just arent the same

and so a good band dies

Edit:

At the end on high school i felt like i had finaly found people that i connected with.
Only to turn around and have to leave them all.
Things were just getting good.
What if i never find people like that again?

A history.

Tue, 26 Sep 2006 23:00:02 GMT

Life just rapidly changed for me and almost all my old friends.

I like my school and the people i'm meeting...of course there are some i do not like. My class makes me excited though :) I droped the language block of it because the homework would have been INSANE...hopefully by the end of the year i will be an expert on russian history, geography, film, and ideas..but then thats just my goal :)

I've been trying to balance between school, new friends, old friends, and my J.O.B.

Today i realized just how much i want to keep traveling and intimatly learning about different cultures. The faster i grow up the less i know what i really want to "Be." Today though i realived i do want to travel...i just need to figure myself out.

<3rachel